On Wednesday night’s edition of Late Night with Seth Meyers, the namesake host began the broadcast by channeling the legendary news anchor Walter Cronkite to share an excerpt of New York Times correspondent Maggie Haberman’s new book, Confidence Man: The Making of Donald Trump and the Breaking of America.
Contained within Haberman’s retelling of her encounters with the former president is a passage recalling an instance in which Trump became enraged after his then-personal attorney, ex-New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani, used the restroom aboard one of Trump’s airplanes.
Meyers had a field day with it:
Every so often, a story comes along that makes us throw out everything we were planning on doing that night on this show — a blockbuster story of monumental consequence to the nation. It happened many times during the Trump presidency: the Mueller investigation, two impeachments, an attempted coup. And look, I don’t want to say that our audience expects or needs us to provide this service. But we feel a moral obligation to bring you the biggest stories of the day because for many people, let’s face it — and I don’t say this lightly — we are their Walter Cronkite. People trust us to bring them the stories that matter most. And to do it with poise and moral clarity and gravitas. Can we go to black and white? Great. And, uh, cigarette, please? Thank you very much. Alright, let’s do it.
Tonight we begin our show with a story of immense significance to the future of our nation. It involves a deeply corrupt ex-president who poses an existential threat to democracy and the accomplices around him who aid and abet his criminal lawlessness. According to a blockbuster tell-all by ‘New York Times’ reporter Maggie Haberman, ‘Trump razzed Giuliani about how much his sh*t literally stinks.’
Alex, I think we can bring the color back now.
That’s right, Trump loudly complained about his lawyer’s stinky dumps. According to the book, ‘while aboard one of the former president’s planes with Giuliani, Trump made it a point to ‘loudly complain’ about ‘the odor after Giuliani had used one of the plane’s bathrooms, so that other aides could hear.’
‘Rudy! That’s f***ing disgusting!,’ Trump yelled.
This is one of those shocking stories that you also definitely could have predicted. No one thinks Rudy is making good smells. It’s why he’s constantly voted New York Mayor Least Likely to Have His Own Fragrance. You know who’s most likely? Eric Adams.
I mean, cologne is probably the solution to the trash problem for him. I know the garbage on the street smells bad so that’s why I never leave the house without putting on some swagger.
While Haberman did not specify when the incident occurred, Meyers nevertheless presumed that it was sometime after Trump took office:
So I’m not surprised Rudy makes bad smells, but I am surprised it’s so bad that TRUMP complained about it. I mean, all Trump consumes are Big Macs and Diet Cokes. He probably has one bowel movement a week that looks like the scene from ‘Jurassic Park.’
And of course, even as he was running for the most important job in the world, that was what Trump was preoccupied with.
I’m sure it happened after he won, too.
Mister President, North Korea just launched a missile into the – god d*mnit Rudy! What the hell did you do in here? It’s Air Force One, not Air Force Number Two. I’m guessing the reason Trump acted so fast was so he could beat Rudy to the punch. Because Rudy definitely has the vibe of a ‘don’t go in there’ kinda guy.
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